Life Right Now: Sage of Something Sage

Tuesday, May 23, 2017





Sage and I met officially and wonderfully and delightfully for the first time in November, when I emailed to ask if I could stay with her on my way to California. We travel in intersecting circles and had connected on Instagram, but were not quite sure we'd actually met. I was so grateful that she welcomed me into her world, and the few days I spent on her family's ranch in Oklahoma were soul-restoring and restful.

Among the many things that Sage is and does, she has a pottery studio and is the caretaker of The Ancient One, her (indeed ancient) grandmother. Fika with Sage, her grandmother, mother, and sisters is one of my happiest memories from that trip. I'm thrilled that she agreed to be a part of the Life Right Now interview series.


Here's Sage in her own words:

On finding oneself in a place other than the one imagined

Like you, Anna, I grew up thinking I would have a family of my own to love and raise and teach and learn and live with...and for. I guess being the second oldest in a homeschooled family of 9 kids made that seem like the natural way for life to progress. God obviously had other plans...or I totally missed the boat somehow, because that sure isn't what happened.

On life with the Ancient One

I've spent the last 5 years care-taking for my 97-year-old grandmother. She is more spry and energetic that you would ever believe and can be endearingly cute and funny. But dementia is taking its toll and she can no longer live on her own.

She and I live in a small red house with white trim, painted to remind her of her beloved homeland of Sweden, next door to my mother, her daughter.

On the complexity and simplicity of life right now

My life right now is plum-topped cardamom cake and comments about the blue, blue sky four times in two minutes.

My life right now is brilliant and beautiful sunrise walks with my mother and sun downer's fears and confusion with The Ancient One.

It is afternoon coffee in tea cups from Sweden and watching someone I've loved all my life be replaced by contention and anxiousness she would not recognize herself.

It is memories of home life in a far away country 80 years ago, and forgotten details in a moment.

My life right now is rare outings with my three sisters, and juggling schedules so that Grandma will never have to be alone.

On finding peace

My happiest moments are more about feeling a peace in the knowing that this is where I am supposed to be, and that it is part of a plan that I cannot altogether see. I find that I pay more attention to "small" things, and marvel that growing plants and budding flowers can be so uplifting to my soul in the day to day weariness of care giving. Life right now can be draining, and those moments of beauty are wonderful life-givers. Working with clay is also a good escape and something I truly enjoy. I need to spend more time doing that. I love my little pottery studio and Thursday night classes.

On the balance of young and old

Being with my young nephew and niece provides necessary balance--a reminder that this life isn't all about growing old and dying--and it heals my heart in ways nothing else can.
On wresting with the unknown

I definitely have that 3AM uneasiness at times, when I lie awake wondering where I will be when all this is "over" and feeling frustrated by time I waste or puzzling out what my life as a 43-year-old is "supposed" to be, and if something went wrong, or if all of this is JUST SO right.

On resting in what is known

Here is what I know through all the ups and downs of this crazy time I have here on earth. My God is mighty. He loves me. He has not forsaken me. He has a plan.

Here is where I find peace...I believe I am where He wants me. And I KNOW He is working good through this stage of my life.

Without those assurances, I feel I would be lost.

My life right now is a refining fire...and it is blessed and overflowing with grace.




Thank you so much, Sage!

2 comments:

  1. This is so beautiful!! A few years ago I came back from a job in Africa to help my mom care for my Nana who was in later stages of dementia. It was such a bittersweet time of tender moments filled raw love and also deep confusion and grief. I am so grateful for that time, learning to sit in the unknown and how to say goodbye. Thank you for your honesty and for sharing! <3

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    Replies
    1. Alicia, I love this line: "It was such a bittersweet time of tender moments filled with raw love and also deep confusion and grief." Makes one's heart ache.

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